- Chances of Seth Rogen wearing out his welcome with the audience
- NBA revenue split
- It turns out, there is not an app for that (R.I.P. Steve Jobs)
- JGL dies of a broken heart
Real Steel: Halfway through the movie, TV ratings for Robot-Boxing plummet due the rising popularity of HGTV's Robot-Letter-Boxing
The Human Centipede II: A day in the life of a Human Centipede II viewer:
11:30 a.m. Wake up and check if cat in pillowcase is fully drowned in bathtub
11:35 a.m. finish off cat
11:45 a.m. check Twitter
12:30 p.m. buy tickets for The Human Centipede II (J/K buy ticket (singular) for Human Centipede II)
1:30 p.m. Eat lunch of Dorito's Cool Ranch (R.I.P. Dorito's guy), Mountain Dew Code Red, and Greek Yogurt (for protein)
2:00 p.m. Mom drops them off at movie theater (STOP BEING SO EMBARRASSING MOM)
2:05 p.m. sneak dead cat into movie theater
2:15 p.m. watch movie
4:15 p.m. check twitter
6:00 p.m. put dead cat in closet among its its still living kittens
7:30 p.m. Madden 12 baby!
2:00 a.m. curl up with duvet cover, eagerly anticipate The Human Centipede III-D
The Ides of March: SPOILER ALERT! It's a Tuesday next year
